To have loved and lost. Chapter1
I smile when she enters the room. She’s new, and I can tell by two ways; one: I haven’t seen her face before, and believe me, I would have remembered it. And two; she looks like she wants to sink into the floor and dissapear.
” Class; this is Allison. She’s new, and I want you to make her feel welcome.” mrs. Clarance says. She then taps Allison on the shoulder; an idication that she should sit. She then begins to make her way down to a vacant seat.
“mmmhm, Allison, please tell us about yourself.” mrs. Clarance says as Allison sits down in a chair right next to me.
” well; I moved here from Vermont; quiet part of town. I’m an A+ student, I was part of my schools rugby team, and I like to play piano. I have three dogs; two sharpays and a pug terrier cross; which my parents used to breed. I’m eighteen, and I love the beach.. And yeah; that’s about it..” she says, her eyes almost bulging.
Her face has the most in-depth features. Her cheekbones are set high on her face, with dark flecks of freckles, her nose was completely proportionate to her face. Her eyes were a dark brown, with splashes of green. Her chocolate brown hair was shoulder-blade length, and had slight curl to it. I like looking at her..
“do I have any volunteers to show Allison around?” Mrs. Clarence presses. A few boys raise their hands; but when I raise mine; she points to me.
“excellent Leslie! You are dismissed.” she says eshewing Allison and I out of the room.. We walked the school hallways in silent awkwardness..
“so Vermont..” I say attempting to start a conversation. Her beauty is honestly mesmerizing. The swell of her ass, her hips, and her breasts. God I could pretty much get lost just by looking at her..
I’m a lesbian. I know I am. I constantly find myself looking at girls the way that I’m supposed to be looking at boys. But I honestly can’t control it; believe me I’ve tried, and it just doesn’t work out that way. I always find things in them that boys seem to lack.; sensuality; soft skin; gentleness, silky hair; soft lips with even softer kisses… And something about that makes it impossible for me to go back..
“yeah; it was so pretty there..” she says trailing off into some unknown memory.
“you miss it there don’t you?” I ask; completely aware of the answer that is coming. I see a tiny tear coming to her eye..
“yeah I miss it. I miss my house, the people, my friends..” she says, and a full onslaught of tears ensues. I watch as each time her eyes close drops of salty tears exits and runs down her face.
“don’t cry; please don’t cry..” I say. My heart is breaking just watching her cry. ” don’t cry, I can’t bear to watch you cry.. I can’t..” I say, reaching my arms out. I envelope her in an embrace.
You know there’s something just so fullfilling about comforting someone you barely even know.. She heaves in my arms as her emotions get the best of her. I let her just stay there, as I stroke her back; and play with her hair gently.
When she is done; she just looks up at me with her big brown and green eyes. I love her.. I barely know her, and yet..
“I promise you,” I say wiping my finger underneath her eyes and collecting all the remanants of those tears, ” that you moving here had a purpose. You have gained a friend, and hopefully many more.” I say. I have a crazy urge to kiss her; but I don’t; she needs me to reassure her.
“you think so?” she says; her voice unsure. God I really want to kiss her..
“just trust that everything is going to be okay. And that everything will work out for you.” I say breaking away completely from her.. “are you ready for the all expenses paid tour?” I ask smiling.
“oooh; all expences paid? Well that’s nice of you!” she says following me down the hallway.
If I said I didn’t notice her; I’d be lying. The second I walked into this foreign classroom; her face stood out to me. Her light blonde hair her big blue eyes, the oval shape of her face, everything.
I’ve never actually admitted to being a lesbian, or anything close to one.. But I was feeling strange things for her and I didn’t even know her..
I’m forced to tell this group of strangers who I am; where I’m from; what I like. The whole time I wish I could just hide in the corner; or become instantly invisible.
I end up sitting next to that girl who had first caught my eye; and when the teacher asks for someone to show me around, I am surprised as her hand shoots up in the air. I smile silently to myself as the teacher points to her and calls her by her first name.
‘leslie..” I think to myself.. ‘she doesn’t really look like a leslie..”
Her hair falls down to her shoulders; in thick curls of blonde as we both leave the class.
“so Vermont..” she asks on account of an awkward silence. I feel her eyes boring into me.
“yeah it was so pretty there…” I say and instantly fly back to Vermont, to my old house; to my bestfriends, and my kind neighbors. To the girl next door who made me feel weird feelings.. Change rooms after rugby practice and the one drunken kiss with Amber..
“you miss it don’t you?” Leslie asks.. And for a little while I’m still lost in the reverie of the memory..
“yeah I miss it. I miss my house, the people, my friends..” I say in a faulty attempt to swallow back all of my tears.. But soon enough the dam is broken and I’m sputtering like a baby.
“don’t cry; please don’t cry..” Leslie whispers barely inaudiable ” don’t cry, I can’t bear to watch you cry.. I can’t..”
Leslie wastes no time in wrapping her arms around my heaving shoulders. Her touch sends electric current running through me.. Causing goosebumbs to form all over my arms.
She just let’s me do it; cry in her arms. I can feel every muscle in her arms as she holds me in the middle of the hallway. Her breasts are pressed against me; and her smell is almost intoxicating.. Her fingers stroke my back and play with my hair to calmn me down.
When I feel like I’ve cried out all my tears I look into Leslie’s eyes.. They are such a deep blue; like the clear water of the ocean. I wish that she would kiss me. It’s odd; but I’ve never wanted anything more in my life..
“I promise you,” Leslie says wiping the tears from under my eyes, ” that you moving here had a purpose. You have gained a friend, and hopefully many more.” is it bad that for a few seconds I don’t believe her?
“are you sure?” I need this; I need someone to tell me that this will all be worth it in the end.. She hugs me quickly; squeezing me one last time.
“just trust that everything is going to be okay. And that everything will work out for you.” she says. There’s something in her eyes; an emotion that I’ve never seen in anyone else before.. “are you ready for the all expenses paid tour?” Leslie offers smiling.
“oh! All expenses paid? Well that’s nice of you!” I laugh falling into step beside you as we walk down the hallway.