You don’t know it but I have been planning this for weeks. I am so thrilled you are back in my life and want to spend time with me that it makes me shudder to think of you. And tonight I have planned a fantasy evening. You will be here any minute and I want to be ready to leave when you arrive. I love being out with you though my nature makes it difficult. You are so confident about all things and you are such a suave and sophisticated man, I sometimes wonder why you chose me. ( Oh! lucky lucky me!) I know your friends and business associates think I am cold and unfriendly, snobbish, and sometimes I wish it could be different. But that isn’t really important, because you know I am none of those things. You know why I am, who and what I am, and don’t seem to mind that I sometimes come off as needy or unconfident – because you also ‘know’ I know my strengths and weaknesses. You know how sensitive I am and how easy it is to wound me and you protect the softness of my spirit like a vicious guard dog at times. You know that the death of my mother and the murder of my sister almost made me disappear – but then too, you know you brought me back from the edge of that precipice. I guess that is why you are so utterly tender and careful with me, why you seem to cherish me like a very rare and fine work of art.
You also know that after a short course of counseling to help me come to terms with the losses in my life I was diagnosed, after a battery of tests, and determined to be a true altruistic being. (Selfless, putting the needs and wants of others before my own – a very rare being in this world of today.) You have seen me close up like a tightly furled leaf when my spirit was bruised by someone and you have also seen me open to the goodness of another being like a rose spreads it’s petals to the sun. You know I have learned to guard my spirit, to be cautious, to pull away from the pain of the other beings in this world who are selfish and mean. You have come to understand that being guarded and protecting myself ‘looks’ like a lack of confidence – but is a much healthier personality trait because of my nature. And you thrill me with your understanding, making it possible to let down my guard with ‘you’ – making it possible for me to trust ‘you’ – GIVE to ‘you’, which is one of the most fulfilling parts of my life.
Will you like the dress I had made for tonight? God please let him be proud to have me by his side – please let this night go as I have planned. I smile.
When the doorbell rings, I rush to open it so I can see your face, your smile. When I open the door and you stand before me, I cannot breath.
You are wearing a black tuxedo. Oh, god you are so beautiful. The breadth of your shoulders and narrowness of your hips – just looking at you sends jolts of electricity through me. I kiss you quickly but passionately and pull away before you can waylay us, as you are sometimes prone to do. I quickly apply a coat of deep rose lipstick, having waited until I had kissed you first. I watch your eyes as they travel from head to toe in evident appreciation. I have had my hair darkened a shade and cut to one length, a fraction below my jaw line – my hair has been braided and twisted with small dark pink roses and pea sized crystal beads from my hairline to just even with my ears. The new style makes my neck look and inch longer. (And my new haircut will be one tempting you to run your fingers through it without fear of disarranging it.) My makeup is flawless. My lashes think and dark, my eyes slightly shadowed with a deep rose and a hint of color on my cheeks – a soft blush. My dress is simple – black silk. There is a narrow band around my neck, my shoulders are bare to the narrow ring of collar, and it is backless (cut embarrassingly low) and the skirt falls just to the tops of my toes. It is held in place by one crystal button at the back of my neck. It is shaped to my body, form fitting at the top, caressing my breasts and slightly beginning to flare for comfort at the top of my hips. The left side is slit almost to my waist. I have on a pair of sheer nude stockings and I am wearing 4-inch heels tonight. Black gloves encase my arms to just inches below my shoulders. I carry a black shawl embroidered with fuchsia roses (the same color as the small flowers in my hair.) I hand you my lipstick and we are out the door. You tell me I am ravishingly beautiful and I blush as we walk to the limousine you have rented for the evening.
You put your hand on my thigh as we pull away from the curb and I gently move it and say sweetly, “Not yet, please”. You promised. And you did agree reluctantly, that tonight you would do just as I asked and not touch me until I said it was time. I caress your face because I know you do not like the promise you made days ago – before you saw me dressed like this.
The Opera is spellbinding. The music is so intense at times that my mouth goes dry, but what really touches me is the moment I glance at you and see liquid glittering on your lower eyelids – it pierces me to my soul and brings tears to my eyes. Sitting beside you in the darkened theatre makes me proud – I have seen the way other women covet you. I have seen them want you with their eyes devouring your form and it makes me feel very blessed that you have chosen me. I know the day will probably come when I won’t be enough to hold your attention so, I relish every minute we have together savoring every second – NEVER taking you for granted.
As we are leaving you guide me gently with your warm hand at the small of my bare back sending shivers cascading through me. You are determined not to keep your word, but I am just as determined you will. You promised because I told you I would have a little surprise for you toward the end of the evening. It was not an easy promise to elicit from but you were terribly intrigued by my promise of a ‘surprise’.
During dinner at the darkly lit restaurant where we share a circular booth in a dark corner I feel your hand begin to slip into the slit of my dress – I clasp your wrist impeding your progress. You do not look happy – I have never done this to you before and you, your masculinity and dominant heart, make this very difficult for you. You care enough to follow through on your promise though because…you are honorable.
You attempt to get your hand in the slit of my dress several times on the ride home but I gently rebuff you and refuse to let you. You are beginning to tire of this game of mine, but I revel in the fact that you have not tried harder knowing I am no match for you physically or emotionally once you begin to make the magic come alive between us. It is hard for me too – God, you have no idea how hard. I am alive with longing for your touch but I know it will be worth the wait. I have the added reward of ‘knowing’ my surprise and what I intend to ‘do’ to you tonight.
As soon as we enter the front door you wrap me in your arms and pull me toward you – my arms stiffen and I halt your contact. You have a fierce look on your face that almost frightens me as you tell me you didn’t promise not to kiss me for the entire DAMNED evening. I giggle; this is so out of character for you, to see you almost pout. But I also realize – you are used to getting your way and with me it has always before been ‘effortless’.
I ask you sweetly to be patient for just a little longer and lean toward you to give you just the tiniest peck of a kiss. I also ask if I may remove your coat – which you allow me to do. I untie your tie and loosen the top two buttons of your shirt stroking lightly the hollow between your collarbones and ask you to please sit on the sofa. You very reluctantly comply.
Please watch me for a moment, “it won’t be long Baby” – I say as I turn on a CD of classical guitar and come to the center of the room. Before you, I begin to sway ever so slightly to the music the almost imperceptible movement of my hips drawing your eyes, and lower one glove at a time – slowly, ever so slowly swinging it over my head and tossing it in your lap. I can ‘see’ that just removing my gloves is having an effect on you, my eyes are drawn to that area – my gauge of how I am affecting you.
I then reach to the back of my neck and unbutton the single crystal button that has kept me clothed the entire evening. As I slide the fabric ever so slowly down my chest my nipples harden under the fabric as your eyes slide up my body and become riveted to my breasts. I slide the dress down exposing one breast and quickly pull it back up recovering it, hiding it from you. I then show you the other breast for a brief instant – swaying my hips. I watch you moisten your lips with the tip of your tongue and it takes all my resolve to make you keep your promise. Now, I let the top of my dress fall to my waist, the waist of my panty hose peeks out and you growl. I reach down and remove one shoe tossing it to you. The other follows it rather quickly because I want this game to be over too.
You do not like it at all that I have asked you to stay there alone for a couple of minutes while I attend to some things in the other room. You wait impatiently.
When I finally come to take you by the hand I am wearing a deep blue satin kimono that comes to just above my knees, belted at the waist and you ‘know’ I am naked underneath. You resist, beginning to become bored with this game and you are almost angry. You hate being made to wait. You relent and grudgingly rise to follow me to the bedroom.
When you enter the room you know why I have been gone so long, leaving you to sit there all alone, my poor spoiled Baby. There are at least a hundred candles lining the bedroom walls and bunched on the dresser and night tables. I want you to be able to see clearly later. Their flames cast more light than the lamps we usually light, but this light dances and flickers casting multiple wavering shadows on the walls. The bed is still made but on the floor is a thick pad of several comforters, the top one a deep purple silk. There is an oval shaped and filled with at least 10 dozen rose pedals at it’s heart. You also see a black sleep mask and a pillow.
I undress you quickly removing your shirt, shoes, socks, cummerbund and then just a little more slowly your pants. I intentionally let my hands and wrists accidentally brush across the front of the soft sheer underwear covering your maleness. You are breathing harder and glaring at me – very very tired of this game. I slide your underwear to the floor kissing your manhood lightly as I kneel to lift your feet to remove your socks and finally I have you completely naked before me, beautiful – strong – muscular and beginning to get very hard.
You notice the sparkle of my eyes in the candlelight and you know I want you just as badly. I ask you to lie in the center of the rose petal covered pad with your head on the pillow. You grudgingly comply but you look at me with real anger when I ask you to put on the sleep mask. I say, “please, Sir, I promise it will be worth it”. You tug the mask into place and almost huff, jerking your head down on the pillow. Once you are lying on the pad I take your hands and lay them by your sides.
Please don’t move Sweetheart and please don’t take off your mask until you feel my mouth, I ask firmly. “For me. Do this for me, please”. You tense and sigh deeply. I know it is difficult for you to give in to me and my heart swells. I teasingly tell you it won’t be long and will be well worth your wait and pray in my heart that I am correct.
I sit beside you on the floor and when you feel something touch your lips you reach for the mask. I quickly circle your wrist in my hand and say – “not yet, baby, not quite yet”. I probe your mouth gently with my trembling fingertips and you open your lips to take the offering from my hand. You realize it is a fresh strawberry and accept it. I feed you several sliding them along the outline of your lips before letting you take them in your warm moist mouth. You feel a different texture caressing your lips and part your lips as I slide into your mouth a slice of fresh peach. When you have finished the ones I feed you teasingly, I ask you to open your mouth just a little. You do not hesitate because you want this over. There has been no physical contact and you are beginning to pout.
I tell you to be careful with my next offering, not to swallow them, suck them for just a moment and then chew them. You feel several small pellet-like drops on your tongue. The flavor is biting and intense peppermint. I place several in my mouth savoring the strong almost unpleasant flavor. I stroke your face gently waiting for the Altoid mints to dissolve in your mouth. Tell me when they are gone I ask as I stand and let my robe fall to the floor – my nipples instantly harden because I know what is coming.
I have fantasized about and prepared for this whole evening for days. Thinking about what is to come makes my pulse race and my belly begins to churn. I look at your naked body before me, admiring the clear smooth tanned skin covering the toned muscle beneath. I smile and fill with lust over your proud, very hard, very prominent penis, erect and straining ever upward.
I want this to happen, but I am so nervous about your reaction that I am weak – now at the last moment becoming unsure. But, no, I will continue hoping it will please you as much as I think it will. You have showed me time and time again by your leading that there is nothing we should hold back from each other… even when we are shy or hesitant. You have given me the courage to take the lead this one time and I do so hope that I please you.
When you tell me you have finished the mints I kneel above you parting my thighs with a knee above each your shoulders. I lean over you careful not to touch you balancing on my left arm stretched and hovering above you. I reach out with my right hand and run my fingertip from the base of your straining manhood to its tip. You instantly begin to respond, growing even longer, tighter. I say “not yet, wait until you feel my mouth”. I draw lazy circles along your penis as it swells and hardens under my touch. I continue until you reach full erection the hot blood stretching your skin to tight hardness and only then do I place the head of your hardness in my mouth. You groan and rip the mask from your face.
The first thing you see, right above your face is my naked and hairless mound, bare and closed except for a tiny sliver of deep pink inner lip peaking out from between outer lips puffed by anticipation. I begin to take you deeper into my mouth as I feel you grasp my buttocks and pull my womanhood to you mouth. I slide my knees to adjust my height so that you can reach me with your lips and tongue – I have been thinking about this moment and longing for it for days. You part my lips with your tongue and drive your tongue into me, snaking teasing. Your hands are on the outer sides of my hips with your thumbs sliding and massaging between my buttocks grazing the other sensitive opening of my body. The lingering residue of the mints we have eaten sting adding a fiery coolness to the tender flesh of our genitals – burning, cooling – adding a new intensity to the myriad sensations.
Your fingers are digging into my buttocks, kneading as you slide your tongue back and forth the length of me. You reach for my breasts rolling my ever-hardening nipples between your fingers, pinching lightly and twisting them, twirling them, pulling slightly.
I am torturing the V of the underside of your penis, swirling my tongue in tiny circles then back and forth along the groove. I soon realize you have become very insistent with your hands. I feel you spread my lips with your fingers, stretching them wide. It is painful – but it also causes a rush of fluid and I become soaking wet. You have stretched my lips apart so that the hood of my clitoris slides back exposing the most sensitive flesh of my body. I know you can see what no man has ever seen. No one has ever moved this tight guarding shield; even my doctor has not viewed this bared clitoris. You are rougher with your hands than you have ever been and I don’t know if it is punishment for the games or the intense arousal of being made to wait. It frightens me just a little because you have always been so gentle. But I do know it feels magnificent, and I trust you. The pleasure is so intense I want to scream.
When you tongue the exposed clit I almost bite you – because my first reaction to the intense pleasure is to clamp my jaws. I find myself sucking and drawing against your hard hot penis mimicking your pressure. You continue to butterfly my clit stretching my lips ever wider baring the entire small bud that gives me such intense pleasure I do not know if I can endure much more of the soft firmness of you tongue licking and swirling.
I feel your penis touch the back of my throat as your hips begin to lift and wrap my tongue to milk you with strong long strokes. I can feel myself on the verge of coming when you stop and wrap your arms around my waist to pull me away from your magnificent penis. You order me to stop as you pull me away. You command me to stand up in a voice I have never heard you use. I weakly and nervously get up, trembling as you leap from the floor and tear the covers down on the bed. The look in your eyes is glaring as you ‘order’ me to lie down on the bed. I am not one that takes orders well but I ‘obey’ you because you almost frighten me. I don’t understand. My legs lock closed and I lay silently waiting.
Your voice is somewhat calmer when you tell me to spread my legs. I am uncertain and also stubborn, as I shake my head no, searching your eyes. You firmly ‘order’ me again. to ‘spread my legs’. I again refuse, making up my mind, that if you want my legs spread you are going to have to pry them apart. I tense waiting for you to do just that. You lean forward resting your weight on your balled fists, straining toward me and say very gently….”Sweetheart, spread your legs”. A whimper comes from my throat. This man, I can deny nothing but I can not move, can’t obey because of the way you had ordered me. Then you whisper so softly the words are like a soft caress, “baby, open your legs for me”, and I cannot resist…I want you so badly that it hurts.
My legs begin to soften and as I begin to spread them you climb onto the bed and push them wide apart – spreading the smooth lips to open for you.
“Now, draw your feet up to your hips”, you coax me. I do as you say. You scoot into position between my legs and run your thumb between my open lips. I groan and arch my back. You run your thumb over and over my clit. I moan and thrust against your hand. Then I feel your hardness enter me as you grasp my shins lifting them up and back to ease your sliding in deeply. You use long hard strokes as you watch your penis move in then out, almost withdrawing. I groannnn and buck. I feel your hands move to cup my buttocks as you penetrate me deeper stroking, stroking, so hard and deep. It feels so good. So good. So gooooood.
You grasp my legs again pushing and maneuvering them to lock my knees over the bends of your elbows, driving into me deeper than you have ever penetrated me before. My mouth is dry from panting and your moans, the movement, the intense frenzied driving into me is almost more than I can stand. Without changing your driving tempo you reach and begin to circle my clit with your thumb and I growl, back arching and head pushing back, chin higher and higher to let the deep animal sounds come.
The room is filled with ever increasing primal sounds as we climb higher and higher toward release. Slits of sight through heavily lidded eyes grasp pictures, flashes, a collage of flickering shadows that dance on the ceiling, your face, your eyes, shoulders, the sheen of moisture on your chest. Your stroking becomes faster, deeper still, faster, faster, long hard strokes the pleasure so intense we are covered in a fine layer of sweat, both moaning for release. Faster, Faster. Faster – harder, harder, and harder – long, long, long, plunging strokes, until you shove into my depths, your pelvis ramming as your hips buck and we both shudder and groan together as we cooooooooooooome, ohhhhhh we cooooooooooome. You buck and stop, buck pushing, pushing, pushing, and gritting your teeth. You cannot move. You can feel the spasms of my vagina milking and sucking against your sensitive penis. You shudder.
In just a moment you fall beside me gritting your teeth as you pull free of me. You scoop me into your arms and hold me kissing softly – my cheeks, lips, and eyes. Neither of us can speak. Our throats are too dry and there is nothing to say – there are no ‘words’ to say. The way you grip me to you, holding me tightly in your arms tells me exactly how you feel. And I know you know how I feel as I melt into your embrace fitting to you from neck to ankles. What we experience together is indescribable – beyond mere words.
And it is ours – only ours, alone – in a world no one can penetrate, no one can enter – where no one else is welcome or needed.
Copyrighted © January 2003