It was a sunny summer afternoon, and being Saturday, I had the day off and was sitting on the back patio reading A Dance with Dragons, drinking iced tea and listening to the birds chirping. The green lawn of my backyard stretched out before me and I sighed with satisfaction as I sat in the shade, shielded from the hot sun by the back awning. I heard the front door open and turned around to see my wife, Anne, come bustling into the living room behind me, carrying a bunch of shopping bags.
“Whoa, what’s this all about? I thought you were just going to pick up a new bathing suit,” I laughed. Anne’s normally pale complexion was bright and rosy and her cheeks were flushed with excitement.
“I met these two younger guys at the mall and they asked me out for drinks tonight,” said my wife, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
“Ahh, what?” I asked, feeling slightly queasy at the thought.
“Well, I bumped into these two fellows, Jerry and Roger in the line at Starbucks and we struck up a conversation and we just sort of hit it off.” Anne gave me a wicked smile that filled me with foreboding. Then she tossed her head and hurried off the bedroom with her bags.
I sat in shock for a moment thinking this over. What on earth was my wife doing agreeing to go out drinking with two perfect strangers that she met at Starbuck? We had been married almost 20 years and she had never done anything like that before. It didn’t seem proper. I put my book down and headed back to the bedroom to find out more. I found my wife spreading out her purchases on the bed. She had bought some new dresses as well as lacy stockings and bras and underwear. She seemed very agitated.
“Oh my gosh, I feel like a nervous schoolgirl. I haven’t been on a date in years. How am I going to pick the right outfit?” she murmured, her brow wrinkled with concentration. “I have to call Janet to come over and help me.”
“But, I mean, it’s not really a date,” I said, picking up a transparent bra that she had just bought.
“Well, it sort of is,” insisted my wife as she casually stripped out of her jeans and blouse. I looked at her soft white body, admiring her hourglass figure and big boobs as she discarded her mismatched bra and panties and took the sexy bra from my hands. I was distracted by the sight of her naked form and my penis started growing stiff as I watched her put on her stockings and underwear. She posed in the mirror, her pink nipples just discernable through the thin material of her bra and her shapely legs encased in dark shiny thigh-high stockings. She was poking at her brunette bob, primping her hair to good effect.
“Does this look sexy enough?”
“It’s sexy, of course,” I stammered, reaching down to adjust the hard on in my shorts. “But, uh, why are you so concerned about wearing sexy underwear? It’s not like anyone is going to see you in it.”
Anne flashed me a glance, her baby blue eyes twinkling wickedly. “Let me call Janet to help me. I can’t expect my husband to help me get ready for a date with two gorgeous men.” She bent over to rummage around in her purse, and I gazed with admiration at her round ass cheeks. Once she had her iPhone out, she shooed me from the room with it as she pulled up her best friend Janet’s contact info.. “Ok, out, out, you, I need to find the right outfit and you aren’t helping.”
“I don’t know why you keep call this thing a date,” I whined as my petite little wife pushed me out of the bedroom with a good-natured smile.
“Janet, darling, I had the most outrageous afternoon at the mall today, you won’t believe it. What are you doing right now? I need you to come over right away and help me,” babbled my wife happily into her phone as she closed the bedroom door in my face.
“This really isn’t appropriate,” I said to the door.
I wandered out back and paced around in the backyard as I contemplated this turn of events. The birds were still chirping and the sun was still shining, but my mood was troubled now. The hot sun beat down on my head as I wandered about aimlessly, ruminating.
“Hey Sam!” called my next-door neighbor Ed from his back porch. “What’s the matter, did you lose your keys or something?”
“No, no, Ed, just thinking,” I called back with a wry smile.
“Well, beer always helps me think; want a beer?”
“Uh, sure,” I agreed. Maybe it would be good to talk this over with Ed. My wife and I had lived next to Ed and his wife Caty for years.
Ed pushed through the shrubs between our two backyards holding a six pack high over his head.
“What’s bothering you, buddy?” he asked, handing me a beer and settling into a chair on my patio.
I took the beer gratefully and twisted it open. I took a deep draught, pausing to enjoy the crisp pilsner and to collect my thoughts.
“You know Anne and I, Ed,” I began, “My wife and I have a happy marriage and I’ve never been the jealous type. But Anne never really gave me much reason to be jealous. She is a good, modest, wife and never flirted with other men.”
“Uh, sure,” said Ed, looking at me strangely. “What are we talking about exactly?”
At that moment we heard a car pull up in front of the house and then I heard Janet and my wife’s cackling laughter from the living room. Janet poked her head out the sliding door to the porch and called out to us. “Hello, there Sam, Hi Ed!” she shouted cheerfully. “How are you, loves?”
“I’m fine, Janet, fine, just a little confused,” I replied with a crooked smile.
“Oh, I know, I don’t really understand this myself,” laughed Janet. “But Anne certainly seems happy. I haven’t seen her so animated in years.” Then Anne appeared behind Janet, wrapped in a robe, and she dragged her girlfriend back inside, waving merrily at Ed and I.
“Of course she will sometimes go out for drinks with her male coworkers, but I never really think anything of it. She certainly never made much fuss over what she wore when she went out with the guys from her office,” I continued in a daze after drinking more beer.
“Sam, do want to tell me what the hell is going on here?” asked Ed leaning forward, brows furrowed in concern. He looked very worried, clasping his hands together on the patio table that separated us.
“Anne is getting ready to go out drinking with two guys she met at the mall today,” I said, holding up my hands helplessly. I didn’t feel that I was conveying the situation very well.
“Well, that seems perfectly harmless,” said Ed, leaning back and giving a puff of relief. He rubbed his balding pate thoughtfully. “Sure, Caty goes out drinking with guys from her job sometimes. I don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“But she never calls it a date, right? Anne is referring to this as a date,” I complained, feeling petty and jealous.
“Yeah, but if it’s with two guys, how can it be a date?” asked Ed.
“She insisted it was a date,” I continued. “And, uh, she deliberately put on some sexy underwear in preparation. Janet’s here to help pick a sexy outfit.”
Ed pursed his lips judiciously, “Ohh, well, that’s uh, I don’t know what to make of that, I admit. I guess women always want to look nice, but the sexy underwear is going a bit far.” Ed laughed uncomfortably. “I mean it’s not as though she is planning on showing two strange guys her underwear tonight, is she?”
I just looked at him miserably and took a swig of my beer. What if she is? I thought to myself and my gut twisted with jealousy.
“Come on, you can’t be serious,” laughed Ed, but his eyes were worried.
“Why did she refer to these two guys as gorgeous? That didn’t sound right to me. A wife shouldn’t talk about how gorgeous other men are to her husband,” I stammered. I felt indignant, but there was a strange feeling inside me as though my familiar old wife was suddenly transforming into a stranger.
…continued in Part Two.
—by Gustav Jorgenson